Last week, a crazy incident occurred where I found myself seated at a table surrounded by millionaires, experiencing the most uncomfortable case of ‘vicarious embarrassment’ I had ever encountered. People attempting to engage in conversation with the billionaires, using traditional social advice, completely botching their only chance to communicate with them as shared by American entrepreneur Natalie Dawson in a recent YouTube video.
Dawson pointed out that when it comes to building relationships with super wealthy individuals, the advice found in books on the market doesn’t tell you this: a moment of awkward eye contact or a utilitarian question can cause you to miss a golden opportunity. The top 1% do not adhere to conventional social rules, therefore the usual advice you hear simply does not work with them.
So how do you engage and socialize with elite individuals? Dawson detailed the framework in the video and shared how through research on a couple, she ultimately facilitated a partnership worth over $1 billion.
The key lies in determining whether you can establish genuine connections after the event ends. Most people tend to open conversations in social settings in a mundane way, like asking, “What do you do for a living?” or “How do you know the hosts?” These cliched openers fall flat with billionaires who have heard them countless times. By the time you finish your sentence, their brains are already searching for an exit strategy.
Strategic openers are words you say only after doing your homework – specific content tailored to their current situation. Perhaps mentioning a surprising decision their company made last quarter, responding to a statement they made on stage that challenged your thoughts, or noticing a subtle detail like a unique watch, a book they mentioned, or a mutual acquaintance as an entry point.
Around top individuals are often those who have only done surface-level research. They might have checked the other person’s background briefly, knowing the company name and revenue data, but few go deeper. When you do, it gets noticed. So before attending the next event, select the big shots you may come across and dive deep into researching them. Find their recent interviews, read their published articles, read their books, and build your opener around these contents. A specific and genuine comment is enough to show your interest in them.
Many of us unconsciously reach for our phones at social events, usually for two reasons: feeling constrained and awkward or wanting to take photos. Dawson emphasized that taking out your phone does not signal your importance to others but hints at your discomfort. The message you convey is that whatever you do on your phone is more important than being present with them. To truly master the art of networking with high net worth individuals – be it celebrities or billionaire entrepreneurs, the first step is to put away your phone. Show confidence, as phones shouldn’t serve as an escape route.
Dawson admitted that she, too, sometimes needs to remind herself not to take out her phone. She mentioned an encounter with Anastasia Soare, the founder of Anastasia Beverly Hills when she refrained from asking for a photo as she was trying to build a relationship with her rather than coming off as an obsessed fan.
It is widely known that in social situations, asking questions is your “secret weapon” – showing interest in them rather than focusing on showcasing your own charm. You should ask questions genuinely interested in a specific aspect of the other person. However, this doesn’t mean you can ask any question freely.
Approaching someone directly without an introduction and requesting them to connect you with contacts, join your podcast, or promote your business is a no-go. Imagine the top individuals you’re trying to meet; they have had numerous people reach out and ask for various forms of help. This doesn’t mean you should avoid mentioning your requests in conversations, but these topics should arise naturally, possibly initiated by them.
Dawson suggested approaching them with topics they are genuinely interested in and you also have expertise in. Elite individuals want to discuss growth, strategies, and current events affecting them and their businesses. They have no interest in talking about the weather but also dislike random questions about their daily lives that could easily be googled. Therefore, when conversing with high net worth individuals, remember: you need to have a sincere curiosity about their business, goals, and plans, and ask questions on these lines rather than ones that reveal what you want from them.
One of the most common networking tips is to research the other person. However, Dawson pointed out that merely conducting research isn’t enough; you must do the “right research.” She shared her story of meeting current partners Grant Cardone and Elena Cardone.
In the early stages of her entrepreneurship journey, Dawson extensively browsed social media for entrepreneur influencers and found the two of them. She began watching every video they published and reading every book they authored. When she finally had the chance to meet Grant and Elena, she was well-prepared. She didn’t walk up to them saying, “I’m your biggest fan, let’s take a photo.” Instead, she directly asked questions based on topics they had discussed, proving she had indeed done her homework.
Dawson said, “This wasn’t about taking advantage of the opportunity to ask for something. I saw it as an opportunity to build a relationship, and that relationship alone created revenue of over $1 billion.”
Recently, she attended a social event with 2,000 attendees where she meticulously researched and used AI to parse through the guest list, understanding all the speakers, marking individuals she wanted to meet in a spreadsheet. She even reached out to 40 of them via LinkedIn before the event so that she wouldn’t waste time on-site. Her research enabled her to confidently engage with her targets, delve into deeper conversations about life and career by finding common interests.
She said, “You see, most people don’t do this. They might only do basic research on the keynote speakers, information readily available on the first page of Google search results. That’s why I prefer going deeper into current events that could impact their business or digging for more profound information about the individuals I’m trying to connect with.”
“Expanding your network, thinking that you must know everyone, is often a misconception. Many times, you need to research specific individuals because if that relationship can change the trajectory of your life, it’s worth every effort to identify common ground with them. That way, when you create the opportunity to meet them in person, you genuinely have topics to discuss.”
Approaching and starting a conversation with prominent figures can indeed be intimidating, but understanding the weight of the opportunity in front of you is crucial. Knowing the likelihood of meeting that person again is essential.
At social events, sticking to familiar and comfortable company is easy and relaxed. However, if there are individuals you aim to connect with, and you know you may not have the chance to meet them again, you must take a chance. It could mean nervously queuing up to talk to them or risking potentially awkward exchanges. Even if you fail, by continuously honing your social skills, you’ll gain more confidence in yourself the next time.
Dawson concluded, “Even one successful conversation or connection could change your life. I liken developing this ability to exercising muscles. If I see someone I want to talk to, I know I have to stick to my principles, walk up, and engage with them. No matter how uncomfortable I feel, I must do it to exercise that muscle since if you don’t use it, it will shrink.”