When it comes to wealth, most of us often think of money and possessions. Many Americans dream of joining the coveted ranks of the “rich,” referring to those who own expensive mansions, stylish cars, and have millions in cash and investments.
However, should wealth really be equated with these material possessions? I believe it shouldn’t be. We often confuse true, deeper wealth with money, but they are not the same thing. While money is one path to wealth, it is not the only path.
There’s an old joke that goes, “Money can’t buy happiness… but it can buy a jet ski, and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?” Though just a joke, it carries a serious truth: no one values money for money’s sake alone. We cherish money for the joys, possessions, security, status, and freedom it brings, all of which are pathways to happiness. This is the “real” wealth we seek.
Yet, we have forgotten this ultimate goal, trapped in a mindset that confuses means (money) with ends (freedom, security, joy, happiness). We have become excessively fixated on money itself, equating it with the good things we desire.
Joshua Becker, in his book “Things That Matter: Overcoming Distraction to Pursue a Meaningful Life,” writes, “Even as basic needs are met, our desire for money persists.”
“This desire is a perceived need subjectively rooted within us. Inadvertently, we forget that this was initially just a ‘want,’ and begin equating it with a ‘need.’ Thus, the financial stress of ‘never earning enough’ starts to manifest. However, what we truly need and what we want are seldom the same thing.”
The craving for money and the assumption that “money equals wealth” have become a blind impulse, an impulse that can never be fully satisfied. For instance, Becker cites a study where individuals with an average net worth of $78 million still felt they needed a 25% increase in wealth to feel satisfied. Since numbers are abstract, it’s difficult to pinpoint how much money truly equals real wealth, leading to a perpetual state of anxiety as this vague threshold of financial wealth, like the horizon, remains forever out of reach.
True wealth is actually simpler, more liberating. As financial advisor Mike Brown writes on his blog, “Wealth is not about having a specific amount of money, but having enough money to support the lifestyle you choose.”
Money can certainly buy a degree of happiness, though this happiness is often fleeting. However, money is far from being the only tool to pursue happiness, and in many cases, not even the most effective one. If what we truly desire is freedom, security, and comfort, then we should directly aim for those, regardless of whether it involves accumulating wealth. In this process, we may discover that achieving these goals doesn’t always require a large sum of money.
As Becker writes, “For the past twelve years, I have lived an extremely minimalist lifestyle. One of the most exhilarating realizations I have gained through this journey is that we need far less than we expect. Many minimalists I’ve met have demonstrated that they can live fulfilling lives with far fewer resources than expected.”
This is because the two essential elements of a “fulfilling” life — true “abundance” — are fundamentally not tied to money, but to time and relationships.
In our imagination, we often equate the freedom money brings with time, whether it’s spending time with loved ones or pursuing personal interests. Sometimes, we don’t need to earn more money to gain greater time freedom; in fact, increased income can sometimes lead to a reduction in time freedom.
Using my own experience as an example, I once worked for a non-profit organization where the salary was quite substantial. However, I quickly realized that the long hours and constant on-call demands were not worth it. While I was financially wealthier than ever before, I felt incredibly “poor” in terms of time.
The so-called “time poverty” refers to lacking enough time to achieve goals or desires in life. According to Cassie Holmes, a professor at the UCLA Anderson School of Management, time poverty can negatively impact job satisfaction, health, and relationships. Having ample leisure time seems to have a greater impact on happiness and life satisfaction than possessing large amounts of money or material possessions.
In just about a month, I realized that while the new job paid more than my freelance work, it made me less “wealthy” in the measures that truly mattered. I resigned and returned to freelancing, immediately feeling richer. Though my annual income now significantly decreased, the time required to complete work is only a fraction of what the high-paying job required. Being self-employed, I can schedule work around my family’s activities. I can take off Tuesday afternoons to go to the park with my family just because we want to. We can leisurely enjoy lunch together. I can even work in a café during a short vacation.
To me, this is true wealth.
Timothy Ferriss, in his book “The 4-Hour Work Week,” elaborates on the concepts of “relative income” and “absolute income.” By understanding these concepts, we can delve deeper into the aforementioned notions.
Absolute income is measured through an admired and unchangeable variable: pure, potent dollars. Jane Doe earning $100,000 per year is twice as wealthy as John Doe earning $50,000 per year.
Relative income, on the other hand, uses two variables: dollars and time (often measured in hours). Let’s look at a real comparison. Jane earns $100,000 per year, working 80 hours per week. Thus, Jane earns $25 per hour. John earns $50,000 per year but only works 10 hours per week, equating to a $100 hourly rate. In the calculation of relative income, John’s wealth is four times that of Jane’s.
Relative income is a powerful concept because, compared to money, real wealth is more closely related to time. By quitting the high-paying but time-consuming job, I rediscovered the value of time and became richer in the process.
Becker’s words were confirmed in my experience: “If we spend less time pursuing money, we will have more time, energy, and space to do other things.”
Some might argue that they do not have the opportunity to be self-employed, thus unable to reduce their work hours. While this may be true, working hours are not the only time you can reclaim for yourself and your family. For example, most of us can immediately gain more time by stopping wasting time on the internet and social media.
After resigning from the high-paying job, I was able to spend more time with my family. True wealth lies in meaningful relationships. It is in these relationships with others where we find meaning, security, and satisfaction, things that cannot be achieved through merely accumulating more money. The longest-running study on happiness, the Harvard Study of Adult Development, found that the closeness of interpersonal relationships has the most significant impact on happiness and health compared to any other factor. Thus, someone with lower income but strong interpersonal relationships is objectively wealthier than a real estate tycoon earning millions but has no one to share it with.
Time and relationships are not only different from money, but in reality, they are the fundamental sources that give money its meaning. If you have money but no time to enjoy it or nobody to share it with, what use is all that money? Business consultant Myron Golden includes this social dimension in his definition of wealth: “Wealth is my willingness and ability to create value for people other than myself.”
This perspective marks a “Copernican Revolution” in our understanding of wealth, shifting from a self-centered concept to an other-centered concept.
Becker would likely agree with Golden’s definition. One of the central themes in his book is that we should pursue generosity rather than wealth.
He writes, “In the end, you will be proud of the money you donate to others, rather than what you keep for yourself.”
The relationships between individuals are objectively more valuable than money. The wealth derived from investing in interpersonal relationships is far more rewarding than any stock market speculation.
We have been misled to believe that only the wealthy can lead lives filled with security, freedom, and joy. In reality, this is within reach for each one of us. Once we understand that wealth goes beyond the balance in our bank accounts, encompassing measures such as time, relationships, preferred lifestyle, and the ability to be generous, we can break free from the chains of endlessly accumulating money.