If you suddenly feel a sense of disgust towards someone you like or your partner in a romantic relationship, it is perfectly normal. This is a common psychological reaction, but why does it happen? Let’s see what psychologists have to say.
Assistant Professor of Psychology at Coventry University in the UK, Rachael Leggett, wrote on “The Conversation” website that you might feel a strong sense of unease or repulsion towards your beloved for reasons as trivial as them wearing a pair of problematic shoes or making a slightly loud eating noise.
Leggett explained that there are several possible reasons for this phenomenon, one of which is related to “relationship anxiety.”
According to the Healthline website, so-called “relationship anxiety” refers to worries, feelings of insecurity, and doubts that may arise in romantic relationships, even when everything seems to be going smoothly.
Psychological therapist Astrid Robertson, who specializes in helping partners resolve relationship issues, said, ” ‘Relationship anxiety’ is very common.”
Some people may feel anxious in the early stages of developing a relationship with a partner because they are not yet certain if the other person has an equal interest in them. However, this anxiety can also manifest among partners in established long-term relationships.
In the long run, “relationship anxiety” may lead to issues such as emotional distress, lack of motivation, fatigue, emotional exhaustion, and even physical discomfort such as stomach issues and other bodily ailments.
In relationship psychology, individuals with an avoidant attachment style, who are inclined to avoid emotional intimacy with others, may experience anxiety when dating or in romantic relationships. The sudden feeling of “disgust” could be a defense mechanism to help these individuals create distance and maintain independence, serving as a “safe space” for them to protect themselves.
Leggett pointed out that another reason for feeling repulsed towards a partner could be the connection between their current behavior and your past experiences. Certain behaviors or actions of the partner may trigger memories of past relationships, leading to feelings of disgust.
It is worth mentioning the concept of “classical conditioning.” If we have developed a conditioned response linking specific stimuli in the environment (such as being repeatedly told that nose-picking is a disgusting habit) with disgust, encountering similar behaviors in others in the future can potentially trigger repulsion.
“Classical conditioning” is a term often discussed in introductory psychology courses and was discovered by Russian physiologist Ivan Pavlov during his experiments on dogs’ saliva response.
Leggett suggested that feeling repelled by someone you love could also be triggered by specific phobias or sensitivities. For instance, if someone suffers from misophonia, which is a heightened sensitivity and difficulty tolerating specific sounds, noises like loud chewing could provoke feelings of repulsion.
In conclusion, there is no simple answer as to why people experience such repulsion. The various theories mentioned above have their own validity and limitations, but the ultimate cause seems to depend on individual differences.