After men and women get married, they form a family together, walking hand in hand on the journey of life, supporting each other, which is a very beautiful thing that should have significant benefits for both physical and mental health. However, experts say that men may seem to gain more benefits than women after marriage. Why is that?
According to American therapist and writer Kaytee Gillis, in an article on Psychology Today, researchers have found a consistent pattern in the past few decades – the physical and mental health benefits of marriage seem to be greater for men than for women.
At first glance, this conclusion may be surprising and even seem a bit unfair. After all, why would one party benefit more when both spouses are in the same relationship?
Gillis explains that the answer to this question is not so much about marriage itself but more about the way many men and women establish interpersonal relationships during the socialization process.
Research shows that married men generally have lower rates of depression and anxiety compared to unmarried men, experience less loneliness, have better physical health, and even have a longer life expectancy.
A recent study conducted by the University of Toronto in Canada also found that a man’s marital status is closely related to healthier aging. This highlights the long-term protective effect of marriage on men’s sense of well-being. In short, men often tend to gain more benefits in key areas such as health, longevity, and financial well-being.
It is worth noting that these findings reflect averages and correlations rather than universally applicable results. In other words, not every couple fits this pattern.
Various research studies indicate that married men tend to report lower levels of psychological distress compared to unmarried men, with fewer symptoms of depression and anxiety, more emotional support, and less loneliness.
Married men also engage in more beneficial health behaviors, such as seeking medical care regularly and choosing healthier lifestyles. This may explain why married men often have lower mortality rates than unmarried men. In many cases, their partners play an active role in encouraging or facilitating these beneficial behaviors.
As for why men benefit more than women, Gillis suggests that one explanation is that for many men, their partners are often their primary source of emotional support, sometimes even the sole source.
While this is not true for everyone, many men tend to restrain the expression of emotions in friendships and family relationships during the socialization process. Therefore, their emotional expression often focuses within the realm of marital relationships.
In contrast, women tend to maintain emotionally rich relationships outside of romantic relationships during the socialization process. Friendships, family ties, and community connections can provide additional sources of support, meaning the emotional benefits of interpersonal relationships are dispersed rather than solely centered on one relationship.
In this sense, marriage does not necessarily mean that women benefit less. On the contrary, it may reflect men’s tendency to develop a dependency on their partners as their primary source of emotional support during the socialization process.
Gillis emphasizes that interpretations should not be oversimplified. While many studies suggest that men generally receive greater average benefits, these patterns vary depending on the outcomes measured and how the quality of the relationship is defined for both partners.
Furthermore, some perspectives argue that the perceived benefits of marriage might actually reflect differences in how men and women are educated in seeking support, expressing emotions, and caring for each other.
Fortunately, these patterns are changing. More and more young men are building emotionally intimate friendships, seeking psychological therapy and other avenues to deepen self-awareness, and expanding their support networks beyond their spouses. Couples are also more consciously sharing emotional labor and caretaking responsibilities.
Therefore, the key question may not be whether marriage benefits men more than women but rather what conditions lead to this appearance.
Of course, not everyone will benefit from marriage or have a happy marriage, and not everyone in an unhappy marriage can or wishes to proceed with a formal divorce. So what should one do when an unhappy person cannot or does not want to leave a marriage they find unbearable?
American therapist and writer Katherine Cullen previously provided some suggestions, including accepting things you cannot change, shifting your focus away from your partner, and changing the way you interact with your partner.