Have you ever struggled with self-discipline and finding it hard to focus? Do you think it’s because you haven’t developed strong self-control? Well, renowned author Mark Manson might just challenge your perspective. Let’s start with a story.
In 2019, Manson was trying to finish his third book with a looming deadline, but he was severely behind schedule. At the same time, a friend of his was struggling with a similar predicament while writing a doctoral thesis. So, the two of them took an extreme measure.
They rented a small cabin deep in the forest. There was no cellphone signal, and the internet connection was very poor. They made a pact: neither of them could leave the cabin until they had written a full 100 pages each. Over the next six days, they would wake up and spend the entire morning writing, take a walk after lunch, continue writing throughout the afternoon, take a break, have dinner, and write into the late hours of the night.
Now, when Manson tells this story to others, they often say, “Wow, you guys have amazing self-control.” To this, Manson replies, “If we had such great self-control, we wouldn’t have to drive three hours into the forest, rent a cabin to get any work done. It’s not about self-discipline, willpower, motivation, perseverance, or determination.”
However, Manson and his friend both achieved their best results ever. The simple reason being: they had nothing else to do.
Manson points out on his YouTube channel that a common mistake people make when trying to cultivate self-discipline and bring about significant changes in their lives is that they believe it’s about willpower or perseverance. They think they need a new routine or morning habits. Nowadays, whenever we can’t focus, the first thing we blame is the phone, blaming it all on the phone, social media, computer algorithms, and so on.
But the real reason for your lack of self-discipline is not because of too many distractions, but because of too many choices and you refuse to give up any of them, which Manson calls “choice addiction.” In his view, this is the hallmark of our era.
Many claim to have issues with focus these days, but the real problem is having too many options. You need to realize that only you can save yourself from self-destruction. If you want to change, don’t give yourself choices. For example, if you want to wake up early, put 10 alarm clocks at the other end of the room, turning your bedroom into an escape game at 5 a.m. every morning; if you want to get in shape, sign up for a year-long personal training course tomorrow and make sure it’s non-refundable; if you want to play fewer video games, sell your PlayStation.
In 1519, Hernán Cortés led around 600 Spanish soldiers to land on the coast of Mexico. Their goal was to conquer the Aztec Empire, one of the most powerful civilizations in the western hemisphere at the time. They were not only outnumbered and inferiorly equipped but also in hostile and unfamiliar territory. Shortly after landing, Cortés did something his subordinates deemed crazy — he burned the ships.
Usually, this story is told as an inspirational anecdote: burn the bridges, fight with your back against the wall, go all-in. However, Manson believes Cortés did not intend to motivate his subordinates. He did not deliver an uplifting speech to make them eager to fight bravely. What he did was simply eliminate other options. In times of possible retreat, consciously or not, your brain will expend energy calculating and weighing the possibility of retreat. This calculation is continually happening unconsciously, like a background process on a computer eating up memory, constantly diverting your attention and determination. So when Cortés burned the ships, he wasn’t adding motivation; he was eliminating other choices.
Nowadays, most of us are waiting for “motivation” to strike us like a lightning bolt. For instance, one day we wake up and suddenly feel the urge to clean out the garage magically. But what if motivation arises not from the desire to do something but from the complete deprivation of opportunities to do other things? Behave science has shown this for decades.
Motivation doesn’t precede action; in fact, action precedes motivation. We often think the sequence is: feel motivated, act, and achieve results. But the actual order is: act, build momentum, and motivation will follow. Manson says, “Cortés intuitively understood this. His subordinates didn’t wake up one morning on the beach, gaze into the jungle, and suddenly feel the drive to overthrow the Aztecs. That feeling simply does not materialize, so he didn’t wait for it. He made action the only choice, and motivation followed.”
Manson says true motivation is not exciting. Reflecting on the days spent in the cabin, he doesn’t reminisce fondly. There were many moments when he didn’t want to write at all, but he had no choice. Every person who has toiled behind closed doors and accomplished something meaningful, if they are honest, would probably say the same thing: on most days, they didn’t want to do anything, they had no inspiration, no riding on a wave of brilliant passion, they just persisted.
One uncomfortable truth that no one really wants to accept these days is: freedom is the enemy of focus. We’ve all been taught that the best condition for achieving great things is absolute freedom, no rules, no restrictions, no one telling you what to do, but reality is different.
A study published in the International Management Journal “Journal of Management” contradicts the traditional view, stating that deliberately limiting time, money, or other resources can actually lead to more effective innovation.
Compared to the artists and problem solvers who enjoy absolute freedom, those with stricter constraints consistently produce more original and excellent work because when you have free rein, your brain wastes all its resources on deciding what to do instead of actually doing it. When you can only work within certain boundaries and with specific tools, your brain stops pondering and focuses on executing as perfectly as possible.
Ever wonder why people fly to attend those 10-day meditation retreats? There, they can’t talk, make phone calls, read, write, listen to music, nothing. In any other situation, this environment would feel torturous, yet many willingly “imprison” themselves for 10 days, often describing it as one of the most transformative experiences in their lives.
Why? Because all possible escape routes are closed off. There’s no conversation to distract, no screen to numb, no book to hide behind. When you have nothing to do except sit still and face your inner self, only then do you truly start facing your inner self. These constraints don’t limit the experience; they make that experience possible.
The initial excitement of starting something is always thrilling, and occasional breakthroughs in the process are equally exhilarating. However, between these bursts of excitement lies a great deal of blank space, filled with monotony, dullness, and repetition.
Psychologist Anders Ericsson dedicated his life to studying top performers in various fields. According to his research published in the “Psychological Review,” peak performance doesn’t solely come from talent but is closely tied to over a decade of deliberate practice.
Yet, the striking feature of deliberate practice is its extreme dullness — repeatedly practicing the same scales, the same exercises, the same fine-tuning over and over again.
Manson suggests that your tolerance for boredom is the ceiling for mastering a skill, accounting for 90% of success. People who can endure long periods of monotony are likely to win with a 99% chance, as distraction doesn’t stem from things diverting your attention but from your inability to bear boredom.
How do you increase your boredom threshold? The process itself is boring. It means facing boredom calmly instead of trying to escape it. It means persisting even if it feels meaningless, even if you feel no one is paying attention, even if every cell in your body craves novelty, you must continue doing what needs to be done. It also means believing that despite not seeing it now, the compounding returns from these boring accumulations will eventually manifest.
This is Manson’s understanding of self-discipline. Self-discipline is not a skill, a strategy, or a mindset; it’s a series of simple actions that eliminate room for choice, something most people are reluctant to give up. Why? Because relinquishing choices feels uncomfortable. But if you can withstand these feelings, remarkable changes can occur. Your self-awareness will shift, and your behavior will naturally start to change.