In Minnesota, a mother of four who homeschools her children has caused a stir online by refusing to allow her kids to use social media and standing against parents succumbing to social media influencers.
41-year-old Allison Lundeen, known as “Proverbs Thirty One Girl” on Instagram along with her husband Ryan Lundeen, creates faith-based content. Ryan has worked as an executive at 3M corporation.
Ironically, as a social media influencer herself, Allison has witnessed firsthand the negative impacts of social media, including how cyberbullies and trolls emotionally harm individuals and even engage in psychological manipulation.
She told The Epoch Times, “It’s a bit ironic because I myself am a social media influencer, so many people find it hypocritical. But a lot of parents are oblivious to how social media affects their children in reality, because they don’t truly understand how social media works and what it does.”
“We see this phenomenon where parents lose influence over their kids’ choices, decisions, and well-being. Why is this happening? Because their influence is being replaced by their kids’ friends, social media influencers, or even strangers they don’t know.”
Realizing the dangers of social media, this full-time mom decided to protect her children from a young age.
She believes that in order to achieve this, consistency is key in raising and instructing children with love and patience.
Today, the Lundeen children excel in emotional, social, physical, and spiritual skills compared to their peers.
As the children grew older, the couple discussed the reasons behind banning social media use. However, enforcing these rules was not easy.
Once their friends started using social media, the children spent months crying and pleading because they felt left out. They wanted to fit in because it seemed fun.
Facing their children’s resistance, Allison responded by asking them to recognize the changes they saw in their friends.
“They widened their eyes, saying, ‘Mom, I can’t sit with my friends anymore. They don’t look at me anymore, they just keep scrolling on their phones,'” she said.
Allison also asked the children to find positive data regarding children’s use of social media, but they couldn’t find any.
“We tell them: we don’t want your friends in your pocket 24/7. We don’t want you reaching out to strangers in your room when we are constantly here. We want to protect you because we want home to be a safe place.”
Months later, her children understood and accepted these rules. However, they respectfully expressed their concerns – feeling left out was very distressing.
The parents’ response was honest.
“As parents, it’s really hard to stand firm in this culture, to say ‘no.’ We understand how you feel, because we also feel excluded because of this decision.”
From a young age, the children are allowed 40 minutes of screen time every day, excluding family activities like watching movies. They can use their parents’ old smartphones to watch content like knitting tutorials under supervision and only in common areas at home.
The children’s personal smartphones are Troomi kids’ phones, which have no internet or social media access unless approved by the parents.
Allison’s efforts have faced opposition, but when she began sharing her screen time management methods, she received support from many like-minded parents. Unfortunately, as their kids started to rebel, many parents caved in.
“We feel that in this journey, we started with a large group of supporters, and then we became like an island,” she said.
She hopes that parents understand that standing by their values for “emotional health” and “family dynamic,” even if it upsets the kids, is “very worthwhile.”
This Minnesota couple, married for 18 years, base their parenting on faith. When asked about the success of their screen time and social media management, Allison had only positive news to share.
“Oh my goodness!” she exclaimed. “Their creativity is just off the charts. From a daughter who bakes and knits to a son who hunts, the family members are gifted in many ways.
“We’ve allowed their childhood to be more innocent than many 10-12 year olds. I’m glad my 8-year-old daughter still enjoys playing pretend games, and my 10-year-old son can play catch all day,” she added, noting that her children don’t aspire to be “models” or “beauty gurus” like their peers.
Her children interact well with people of all ages, and the sibling bond is strong. Watching her family together warms Allison’s heart.
“We’ve had many adults say, ‘Wow, your kids talk to me like adults, they are so lovely and kind.’ So, we’ve noticed that they can interact better with various age groups,” Allison said.
“We see their childhood lasting longer, and their creativity bursting out. I’m very proud of them compared to their peers.”
Interestingly, Allison’s children now fully support her values on screen time and social media, understanding the dangers these platforms pose.
Allison believes that when her children become adults, they can choose their own screen time and social media usage. For now, she and her husband will continue to guide them on this narrow path: reducing screen time and increasing family time.