In the workplace, it’s inevitable to feel stress, which can affect our mood. Bringing negative emotions home after work can potentially impact family life and even endanger marital relationships if left unchecked. Experts have discussed three ways in which work stress can harm marriages and offered solutions for improvement, which married individuals may find beneficial.
American psychologist and writer Guy Winch wrote on Psychology Today that when our workdays are filled with stress, tension, irritability, or discouragement, it’s challenging to avoid bringing these negative emotions home.
Winch noted that such workdays can trigger a fight-or-flight response, and we find it difficult to easily shake off this physiological and psychological state after work. Here are three ways this state can affect your marriage when you return home or finish working at home:
Even if you try to keep a smile on your face and hide your stress and tension, research has found that these emotions may still leak out and affect your spouse’s mood.
Maintaining a pleasant and enthusiastic demeanor in front of someone who is irritable and tense is challenging. This can prevent both you and your partner from having a relaxed, pleasant evening together.
Solution – Develop a habit to help shift your mindset from “work” to “family.” Consistently doing this daily can train your brain to transition more easily from a state of high alert to a calm state.
When something frustrating or painful happens at work, you may find yourself ruminating on it when you get home. You might spend the whole evening replaying what a colleague said, how rude a customer was, or how your boss criticized you in a meeting.
Your partner can sense when you are distracted, leading them to feel neglected. This situation may occur frequently when your workload and stress levels are high, ultimately causing distance and barriers between each other.
Solution – To resist the urge to ruminate, prioritize your relationship, and set a clear goal for the evening – spend quality time with your partner, enjoy a romantic dinner, or watch your favorite show together.
During times of high work demand, you may feel exhausted and unable to tend to household chores. Initially, you may just overlook tasks like washing dishes or ordering groceries due to your immense stress and fatigue, which your partner may understand without complaint.
However, this can easily become a new norm, burdening your partner and leading to resentment. Even though they understand the pressure you are under, they may still become discontent with the extra household responsibilities.
Solution – If you need help sharing household chores, communicate openly with your partner and sincerely listen to their needs and feelings. They may also be feeling overwhelmed.
Winch concluded that being aware that work stress can spread to the family and affect our interpersonal relationships will help minimize stress and tension within the family and minimize damage to our partners and relationships.
Dr. Ho Jen-Chi, Chief of Psychiatry at Nanshi Hospital in Taiwan, previously stated that high work stress can easily cause negative impacts on psychological, physical, and behavioral levels. To address work stress, he offered the following nine suggestions:
1. Acknowledge and accept stress – Recognize your stress levels and accept that stress is a normal part of life.
2. Regular exercise – Exercise releases dopamine and endorphins, helping stabilize emotions and release stress. Consistently choose a form of exercise you enjoy.
3. Deep breathing and meditation – Deep breathing and mindfulness meditation can help relax the mind and body, reducing anxiety and stress.
4. Communicate and seek support – Sharing stress with family, friends, or colleagues for understanding and support aids in emotional adjustment.
5. Manage a healthy lifestyle – Maintain regular routines, get enough sleep, eat balanced meals, schedule leisure activities, allowing your mind and body to rest.
6. Time and work planning – Manage work and rest periods reasonably, utilize time management tools, and avoid excessive overtime.
7. Cultivate interests and hobbies – Developing personal interests helps shift stress and enhance life satisfaction.
8. Adjust thinking and attitudes – Learn flexible thinking, adjust expectations and goals for work timely, and avoid fixating on small details.
9. Seek professional help – If stress is impacting daily functioning (e.g., insomnia, inability to work, suicidal thoughts) and persists for more than two weeks, seek assistance from a psychiatrist or psychologist for medication and counseling.
(For more details, click here: [link to further information])
Work stress can create mental and physical problems, with psychiatrists offering nine tips to cope.