The so-called “vaguebooking” refers to deliberately posting vague messages on social media to attract attention or responses. Experts say that this behavior is common but is an unhealthy way of communication.
Psychology professor Phil Reed from Swansea University in the UK wrote on Psychology Today that “vaguebooking” is essentially a digital variation of a self-expression style in the real world, commonly known as “strategic ambiguity”.
“Strategic ambiguity” is employed in various contexts, primarily to avoid directly expressing certain content. This mode of communication can be used positively to avoid hurting others’ feelings or causing offense. At times, it is used in a negative manner by leaving the interpretation to the message recipient, as seen in how politicians often avoid discussing specific details and instead use copious amounts of words to convey their message.
In the digital realm, people are starting to understand the different situations in which “vaguebooking” occurs. However, it has not garnered the same level of attention as terms like “Fear of Missing Out” (FOMO) or become part of everyday language.
Neuropsychologist Sanam Hafeez told The Huffington Post regarding “vaguebooking,” “This behavior is common but not the healthiest way of communication.”
As for why people engage in “vaguebooking” and how to address it, several experts shared their views with The Huffington Post:
People often share updates about their lives on social media, ranging from celebrations to job losses. Posting a picture of a puppy with the caption “in need of prayers” is an example of “vaguebooking.” By concealing the puppy’s condition, perhaps the individual hopes someone will inquire about what is wrong with the puppy.
Comments made through “vaguebooking” are intended to grab attention but often lack details and background information. Those who choose to do this may be reluctant to share the full story, leaving others to speculate.
Sometimes, individuals use “vaguebooking” because they seek to build relationships but fear criticism or rejection. Research suggests that this communication style is associated with increased loneliness and involvement in online gossip.
Jenny Woo, an educator and emotional intelligence researcher who graduated from Harvard University, mentioned, “Individuals with lower emotional stability or introverted tendencies may use ‘vaguebooking’ to test if anyone cares about them.”
Hafeez stated that people might resort to “vaguebooking” in an attempt to reach out to specific individuals, believing they have no other choice but to use “triangulation.”
“Triangulation” involves involving a third party in conflicts to ease tensions. In such cases, individuals may seek support from other social media users or provoke those causing them distress.
Thais Gibson, founder of The Personal Development School, agreed with this perspective. She noted that when neither you nor the recipient of the post is willing to engage in resolving differences, using “vaguebooking” could be the last resort.
While this method is not healthy, it allows for the indirect expression of emotional distress. Moreover, your attachment type can influence how you handle conflicts.
Gibson mentioned that individuals with secure attachment styles are least likely to resort to “vaguebooking” as they are better equipped at addressing conflicts directly. On the other hand, those with anxious attachment styles are more prone to doing so. When they fail to gain recognition through arguments, they may seek validation through other channels like friends, family, or social media.
Woo highlighted, “Some celebrities use ‘vaguebooking’ as a way to express their true thoughts without worrying about harsh media criticism.” They might express regret for actions taken or attempt to reclaim their distorted narratives.
Hafeez added that social media allows celebrities to maintain a level of privacy while sharing aspects of their lives under constant scrutiny.
When faced with vague social media posts, there are subtle ways to respond.
Sanam Hafeez advised to refrain from immediately commenting publicly on mysterious posts but suggested reaching out privately if it’s a family member or friend. This approach conveys care while respecting their space to share freely.
Gibson added that people often find direct private communication more supportive than public comments under posts.
Hafeez recommended that if the relationship with the individual isn’t close, it’s acceptable to not respond after reading the post. However, if you suspect the post is about you, it’s best to communicate directly with the person.
For individuals inclined towards “vaguebooking,” Gibson said, “You simply seek attention, being heard, and cared for. These are basic human needs.”
She recommended seeking guidance from trusted individuals like therapy experts to help find more direct and sincere ways to express needs rather than resorting to venting on social media.