Recently, a Chinese international student posted online saying that Chinese students are unfriendly and that they “don’t want to make friends with Chinese students”. Many media outlets have reported on this, and numerous netizens have joined the discussion on “keeping away from Chinese circles”. A reporter from Epoch Times interviewed several international students to hear their perspectives.
The poster claimed to be a student majoring in applied mathematics at the University of Waterloo in Canada and described being verbally attacked by two Chinese students in the school’s study room. One of them was a classmate who used a mocking homophonic version of his name to insult him, calling him “DICK” and repeatedly asking if his name was “normal”.
The other individual, whom he did not know, inquired about his name and other personal information, looked through his LinkedIn profile, commented that his major was “garbage”, made insulting remarks about his birthplace, and accused him of “betraying the University of Waterloo” for serving as a TA at the University of Toronto.
The derogatory remarks from Chinese international students in public places made the poster extremely uncomfortable. He expressed in his post that he has many local friends in Canada, and “no one has ever treated me like this”. Having lived in China for 18 years, he is familiar with such behavior, noting that many people (though not everyone) are unfriendly, speak harshly, lack respect, and excessively judge others. He said, “I came to Canada to study, hoping to escape that hostile, judgmental, and toxic environment. Please don’t bring these negative things here.”
He concluded by saying, “I believe that most people are good, not every Chinese student is toxic like that.” He also mentioned that one of the best lecturers he met at Waterloo was from China. He emphasized his deep love for his homeland and the importance of treating others well and being treated well in return.
Some netizens commented, “I am also Chinese, but I don’t like to only socialize within Chinese circles. They have their own lifestyle: eating Chinese food, ordering takeout, never cooking, only listening to Chinese songs, watching Chinese movies, and only drinking at home—once you mention going to a bar, they shake their heads… If the lifestyle remains unchanged, why spend so much money to study in Canada?” However, others believe that the poster should not generalize individual experiences to an entire ethnicity, with some netizens pointing out that many local students also make judgments based on LinkedIn profiles.
Currently, the post cannot be found on the internet, presumably deleted by the poster.
Ryan, who came from China to study in Canada in 2011 and pursued a master’s degree in computer science at a prestigious university, later working in a large overseas company, shared his insights. He mentioned that during his years of studying, working, and living abroad, he had encountered friendly Chinese individuals and had never encountered those who would use offensive language. From what he understands, “there may indeed be some unfriendly people, but there are also many sincere and kind-hearted people yearning for a free life overseas.”
He believes that it is unnecessary to deliberately avoid Chinese circles but rather find a good social circle that suits oneself. “International students can choose like-minded individuals as friends.”
Furthermore, some international students or Chinese immigrants, though living overseas, still mainly utilize WeChat as their primary social media platform, only viewing news pushed by WeChat, which may result in a lack of understanding of local society, hindering their integration. Ryan mentioned.
A contributing reporter for Deutsche Welle Chinese, Liu Wen, pointed out, “A considerable number of Chinese-Americans mainly obtain information and communicate through the Chinese social app WeChat, in a sense living in an ‘information bubble’.”
Ryan also noted, “The education system in China has always been authoritarian, making it sometimes challenging to accept different perspectives. This habit may sometimes lead to some disagreements in people’s interactions.”
Ryan advised newly arrived Chinese students in North America to be more open-minded and not restrict themselves excessively. “There are many club activities, volunteer activities, social gatherings at school that you can participate in.” “Regularly reading local media news is also one of the good ways to integrate into life abroad.”
“People from the West are very good at telling their stories,” he believes, suggesting that international students should not overly isolate themselves but share their experiences and lives with others. “As long as your attitude is friendly, I think others can feel it.” Ryan stated.
“Some international students indeed strongly resonate with the idea of stepping out of Chinese circles,” Taylor, who studied in Canada a few years ago, told Epoch Times during an interview, he believes the reason behind this might be a reflection on their past growth environment.
“They don’t want to be influenced by the pressure culture in China anymore,” he said. “The excessive internal competition in China, growing up in an environment of comparison and competition since childhood, being judged, seems to have a hierarchy of disdain.”
Taylor believes that many people want to immigrate abroad to escape abnormal pressure environments. However, Taylor thinks the Chinese community is vast, and it is unnecessary to amplify certain issues. “Perhaps we just see a part of the phenomenon and think that Chinese circles are like that. But in reality, most people in Chinese circles are very kind, and there is no need to amplify individual incidents.”
He believes, “The differences between individuals are already significant.” “There are some people who hold themselves to high standards in their thinking and actions, but there are also some people with lower standards.”
While he has not encountered unfriendly Chinese individuals overseas, Taylor noticed that within the Chinese community, “there is a strong sense of mutual vigilance,” which may also be related to the inwardness and closed nature of China. “Why do people want to step out? Want to come out? Many have a psychological aversion to closed environments and oppressive cultures.”
He feels that “Many international students have strong analytical skills, for example, I love a country, but it doesn’t mean I love this ruling party. I acknowledge the 5,000 years of Chinese cultural history, but it doesn’t mean I endorse the culture within the system.”
He found that many old immigrants around him, including the older generation of students from Hong Kong and Taiwan, have a deep affection for their motherland but do not agree with some of the actions of the Chinese government.