For many couples preparing for marriage-based immigration, the immigration interview is like the most nerve-wracking thirty minutes of their lives.
Some can’t sleep the night before, while others memorize the layout of their home inside out. They think that as long as they “answer the questions correctly,” they will smoothly pass. But in reality, immigration officers are not looking for memorization; they are looking for the authenticity of life.
The U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) conducts marriage interviews not to make things difficult, but to confirm whether the relationship is genuine and sincere. Officers do not seek “standard answers”; rather, they aim to assess through conversation the naturalness and traces of life in the couple’s interactions. They observe not just what you say but also how you say it, the eye contact, tone, and reactions between you two.
The interview questions can be unexpectedly detailed:
• Who wakes up first, and what do you have for breakfast?
• Where is the TV located in your home?
• What did you do the last time you celebrated a birthday together?
• Where do you keep the toothbrush? Who does the towel washing?
These mundane details serve as the basis for officials to determine “cohabitation authenticity.”
Many couples believe that “consistency” equals safety, so they may try to memorize answers in advance and rehearse lines. However, how can real married life be completely uniform? Officials may notice something amiss in the “overly neat responses.”
For example:
When asked, “What did you eat on your first date?” if both answer in unison, “steak and salad,” with a consistent tone and without any thought, the officer may think, “This sounds rehearsed.”
However, if one says “steak,” and the other adds with a smile, “He ordered it too salty and even stole my fries,” that natural interaction may be more believable.
Authentic marriages have warmth, disagreements, and blurred memories.
Natural pauses, smiles exchanged, and recalling details are more compelling to officials than perfect responses.
Before the marriage interview, couples can review life details together but should avoid rote memorization.
Preparation is suggested from three aspects:
1. Review the timeline: When you met, when you started dating, when you decided to get married. These are the backbone of the story.
2. Organize evidence of shared life: rental agreements, bills, tax returns, photos, insurance documents. Officials value these tangible records.
3. Familiarize with daily habits: such as routines, food preferences, home setup, etc. Answer naturally and without aiming for consistency.
During the interview, stay relaxed and remember that “officials are also human.” They have seen tens of thousands of couples and can easily distinguish between natural interactions and rehearsed performances.
It is normal to feel nervous, but honesty is the most powerful trait.
Some couples may have inconsistent answers, like one saying “our bedsheet is blue,” while the other says “greyish-blue.”
Such differences are actually reasonable. Officials understand that everyone’s memory is unique, and the focus is on overall consistency rather than verbatim agreement in every sentence.
The real danger lies in “fabricating lies.” If caught in inconsistency and rush to cover up with excuses, it will only escalate the contradictions.
The best approach is to be candid and admit, “I made a mistake; it should be our newly exchanged bedsheet.”
A natural and calm demeanor can earn more trust than being flawlessly perfect.
The scrutiny in marriage-based immigration is not about reciting correct answers but about living out a genuine life.
If a relationship truly exists, the details of shared life will naturally reveal themselves. It is a connection of emotions, not scripted dialogues. Therefore, the interview is not a test but a reenactment of life.
Instead of worrying about how to “perform,” reminisce about how you have “loved” each other. Because real life itself is the most persuasive evidence.