During the Chinese New Year and holiday season, people usually have more visitors and also have more opportunities to receive gifts. However, there are certain inappropriate behaviors or actions when receiving gifts that can make oneself look impolite and even embarrass the gift giver. Let’s now take a look at what Western etiquette experts have to say.
According to a report from The Huffington Post, gifts carry a lot of emotional significance, especially during festive periods. Although there can be a lot of pressure in selecting the right gift for someone, etiquette experts emphasize that how people receive gifts is also crucial.
Several etiquette experts have mentioned common impolite behaviors people often display when receiving gifts. They also provided guidance on the correct way to handle such situations.
Jodi R.R. Smith, the General Manager of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting in the United States, emphasized that when receiving a gift, the most important thing is to thank the gift giver for their kindness. Smith pointed out that someone has thought of you and specially sent a gift during a celebration or important day.
She stated that at the very least, one should say “thank you” in person, and sending a note or email afterward to express gratitude is also a polite practice.
Smith noted that responding to receiving a gift with phrases like “Oh, you shouldn’t have!” or “Why did you give me a gift?” immediately diminishes the goodwill of the giver, which is considered impolite. Such reactions distract from expressing gratitude.
Jackie Vernon-Thompson, founder of the From the Inside-Out School of Etiquette, advised against inquiring about the price of the gift, as it is considered inappropriate. “This is too personal and can make the gift giver uncomfortable,” she emphasized, highlighting that discussions about the cost of gifts should not arise in gift-giving conversations.
Nick Leighton, an etiquette expert, stressed the importance of expressing gratitude for the gesture, even if you do not like the gift. Negative responses can damage the atmosphere of communication and hurt the feelings of the gift giver.
August Abbott, another etiquette expert, suggested refraining from making harsh comments about a gift one dislikes. Instead of speaking bluntly, it’s better to exercise restraint, act out of goodwill, and focus on appreciating the sentiment behind the gift.
Abbott underscored the importance of acknowledging the giver’s intentions and efforts and expressing gratitude rather than complaining or giving negative evaluations of the gift itself.
Furthermore, Vernon-Thompson added that if there are minor issues like spelling errors in a gift, it is best not to publicly correct the giver. You can address it privately, but always maintain a spirit of gratitude.
Diane Gottsman, author of “Modern Etiquette for a Better Life” and founder of The Protocol School of Texas, recommended that if you do not like a gift or receive duplicates, you can discreetly pass it on to someone else or donate it. There is no need to inform the giver that you do not plan to keep the gift.
If you receive a T-shirt you don’t like, an extremely ugly painting, or something that doesn’t fit your personal style, Abbott advised smiling in thanks and then donating it to charity or someone who might appreciate it. However, she noted that when doing so, ensure the gift giver never encounters the recipient and keeps it confidential.
Leighton suggested that if you need to return or exchange a gift due to size issues, try not to let the giver know as much as possible.
Smith stressed avoiding turning gift-giving into an exchange. Even if you are caught off guard, refrain from saying, “I didn’t know we were exchanging gifts” or “I didn’t bring you anything.”
She reiterated that when someone kindly gives you a gift, the polite response should always be a simple “thank you.”
Vernon-Thompson also cautioned against skipping over a card and simply presenting the gift, as it may come off as rude. She emphasized that cards often convey the core of these sentiments.
She advised people to read the card first, appreciate the emotions conveyed, express thanks, then open the gift and express gratitude once again.