In this digital age where the fear of missing out (FOMO) has become a common phenomenon, a new concept known as the fear of people’s opinions (FOPO) is emerging. According to experts, FOPO is a mindset or habit characterized by the fear of others’ judgments, yet many individuals are unaware of this issue, labeling it as an “invisible epidemic.”
FOMO, initially introduced by American psychologist Michael Gervais, is likened to a hidden epidemic that can significantly impact one’s self-confidence and behavior, as reported by the New York Post. Gervais explains that FOPO is primarily an anticipatory mechanism aimed at seeking acceptance in the eyes of others and avoiding rejection.
The essence of FOPO lies in the heightened vigilance and social readiness, leading individuals to constantly compare themselves to seek external validation. This behavior, amplified by social media platforms where likes and comments serve as validation tools, often results in individuals devaluing themselves.
Licensed marriage and family therapist Aparna Sagaram emphasizes the current societal shift where the focus is not on what is best for oneself but rather on how others perceive them. The quest for external validation has become paramount, overshadowing personal desires and interests.
Gervais outlines three stages of FOPO: anticipation, where individuals mentally prepare for social interactions; confirmation, involving the scrutiny of others’ expressions and body language to assess personal worth; and response, where individuals adapt behaviors to avoid perceived rejection or exclusion.
Various signs indicate one may be suffering from the invisible epidemic of FOPO. Examples include compulsively checking phones to appear busy, laughing at unfunny jokes, or staying late at work due to the presence of the boss. The need to conform by misrepresenting one’s age or pretending familiarity with trending topics further illustrates the extent of FOPO’s influence on behavior.
Ultimately, FOPO leads individuals to sacrifice authenticity in favor of social acceptance, potentially derailing personal aspirations and values. Gervais warns that fixating on others’ opinions may result in a lifetime spent conforming to societal ideals rather than embracing one’s true self.
Acknowledging and addressing FOPO is the initial step towards change, affirms Gervais. Developing coping mechanisms to manage overwhelming emotions such as anxiety through breathing exercises and self-dialogue is crucial in breaking free from FOPO’s grip.
A shift from performance-based identity to goal-oriented self-perception offers relief from FOPO’s intensity, suggests Gervais. Embracing a sense of belonging within a larger context and establishing connections aligning with personal values can ease the burden of seeking constant external validation.
Sagaram advises seeking professional assistance to assess personal values and beliefs, enabling individuals to differentiate societal expectations from authentic self-perceptions. Cultivating self-confidence empowers individuals to prioritize personal values over external judgments, fostering self-assurance and autonomy in decision-making.