Fairleigh Dickinson University (FDU) in New Jersey’s Associate Professor of Communication Studies, Kara Alaimo, recently released a new book titled “Over the Influence: Why Social Media is Toxic for Women and Girls-And How We Can Take it Back.” The book aims to help parents protect their daughters from online harms.
Alaimo, a 41-year-old professor, is also a regular commentator for CNN. She grew up in Somerset County, New Jersey, where she started a family and raised children.
Why are smartphones and social media so harmful to young girls?
Young girls tend to use visually oriented apps like Instagram, which focus on body image and appearance, easily misleading girls into thinking that the easiest way to get likes is to make themselves look “sexy” in photos, which is particularly harmful to their mental health. Alaimo interviewed a woman who developed an eating disorder in her teens due to using Instagram and is still struggling with anorexia.
Girls value relationships, making them particularly vulnerable to feelings of exclusion brought on by social apps. For example, when they see friends hanging out on Snapchat but aren’t invited, they may feel that their social connections are not strong and their lives are not as exciting as their peers. This is exacerbated by the fact that everyone presents a filtered and beautified version of their lives online, but for young girls, especially during challenging adolescence, their confidence can plummet as a result.
Why are women and girls today considered less safe than a few years ago?
Dating apps are much more dangerous than we realize. A study found that 31% of women who have used dating apps have experienced sexual assault and “sextortion.” For instance, a man meeting a woman on a dating app convinced her to send a suggestive photo and then threatened to post it online unless she paid him $25,000.
There are also “catfishers” who use fake online identities to deceive, extort money from, or otherwise harm others. Catfishers are often part of global criminal organizations, and some men are coerced into becoming catfishers under the promise of job opportunities. They seduce women to establish emotional relationships and then say, “I want to come see you, but my credit card was just stolen. Can I put the flight cost on your credit card and pay you back when I arrive?”
How can parents protect their daughters?
Delaying giving your daughter a smartphone for as long as possible, such as at 14 instead of 12, can significantly impact her life. Limit her internet use as much as possible; it’s safer for her to hang out with friends in a mall than in her bedroom, where she may contact dangerous individuals through Instagram. Engaging your child in extracurricular activities reduces her screen time and helps her build crucial relationships, especially during adolescence.
Alaimo also suggests that if TikTok cannot be avoided, parents should use it with their children. When parents start browsing content that interests their children, more of such content will be recommended. Understanding the popular trends on TikTok is crucial for parents to engage in conversations with their children about the content. Recently, trends like “Sephora Kids” and “Botox Babies” suggest that 10-year-olds need makeup and 20-year-olds need Botox. Parents can talk to their daughters about not judging anyone based on appearance, especially themselves.
Parents should never threaten to take away their daughter’s phone. Often, girls in trouble online don’t tell their parents for fear of losing phone privileges. Make sure your child knows they can seek help from you, no matter what happens online.