When your marriage hits a rough patch, you may not be sure if it is still worth saving. Experts say that before making a decision to divorce, you can assess the situation based on 4 signs to see if you and your spouse still have a chance at living together.
American psychologist Mark Travers wrote in Psychology Today that not all marriages can last long, and sometimes separation can be the healthiest choice for both parties. However, if both partners are willing to work on repairing their relationship, some broken marriages still have a chance for reconciliation.
Travers mentioned the following 4 signs of such marriages:
In troubled marriages, the most easily overlooked fact is that saving the marriage doesn’t always start with fixing the “marital relationship.” It usually begins with each individual working on their inner selves. When one or both partners start reflecting, adjusting, and nurturing their emotions, a chain reaction occurs that impacts their communication, responses, and relationship.
Personal sadness doesn’t just stay within oneself but can spread into the marriage. Taking responsibility for managing one’s emotions not only improves personal life but also can change the dynamics of the marriage in a meaningful way.
A study published in 2024 supported this view. The research, focusing on women undergoing individual therapy for relationship struggles, found that two-thirds of the participants showed a significant increase in marital satisfaction and commitment.
If you find that both you and your partner are willing to take responsibility and work on resolving internal struggles, whether it’s managing stress, healing past traumas, or developing healthier habits, there is a good chance for your marriage to heal.
Communication is the lifeline of any relationship, but as tensions rise, even simple conversations can escalate into endless arguments. One of the most hopeful signs for saving a marriage is when both parties are willing to learn new ways to interact with each other.
A study published in 2021 emphasized the powerful impact of communication skills, not only in improving interpersonal relationships but also in protecting individuals’ emotional well-being within marriage.
The study found that married women who learned effective communication skills were better equipped to handle marital conflicts directly, leading to reduced exhaustion and improved quality of life. While the study focused on women, the basic principle that healthy communication can defuse tense relationships applies to all partners, regardless of gender.
If you and your partner are aware of the communication gap between you and are willing to actively learn and implement healthier ways of self-expression, this often signifies that your marriage is not broken beyond repair but in need of rebuilding.
Every relationship goes through rough points, moments that cause hurt, disappointment, or emotional distance. But as long as both parties are willing to candidly address the past and genuinely commit to resolving underlying issues, these challenging times can become opportunities for growth.
Research indicates that forgiveness plays a crucial role in this process. Forgiveness is not just about letting go of resentment but also helps reduce harmful conflict behaviors and encourages efforts to rebuild relationships.
When both parties choose to forgive, they are more likely to communicate in healthier ways, break negative patterns, and actively engage in relationship improvement, leading to deeper emotional connections and higher relationship satisfaction.
When you both are ready to break unhealthy behavioral cycles, approach difficult conversations with empathy, display grace, and choose to show yourselves differently, this often signifies that your relationship still has a flexible foundation worth nurturing.
A healthy relationship isn’t about avoiding mistakes but more about how you respond when mistakes happen. When both parties are willing to take responsibility for their actions, offer sincere apologies rather than shifting blame, space is created for problem-solving and emotional security.
Research points out the timing and manner of apologies are crucial. Apologies are most effective after the hurt party has the opportunity to express their feelings and feel understood. Premature or rushed apologies can sometimes come across as insincere.
When one spouse can articulate the reasons for their hurt, and the other shows genuine understanding, trust is built, indicating a serious approach to addressing the mistake. After such a meaningful exchange, an apology is more likely to be believed in preventing future recurrences.
If you are both prepared to continue taking responsibility and demonstrate a willingness to grow together in conflicts, it’s a strong signal that your marriage has emotional maturity and mutual respect, making it worth saving.
A survey conducted by Forbes Advisor found that over 60% of divorcees believe that if they had a better understanding of the responsibilities of marriage before tying the knot, their marriage might have been salvageable. Therefore, those planning to marry should fully grasp this point beforehand to reduce the likelihood of future divorces.
To learn more details, click here for the survey: 63% of Divorcees Say This Can Save a Marriage.