Are you dissatisfied with your current situation and dreaming of transforming into a new version of yourself, like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon? American entrepreneur Natalie Dawson shared 7 specific steps in her self-media to help her evolve from an unknown earning $55,000 a year to a multimillionaire with a private jet.
You must be completely honest with yourself, facing your current reality and what you urgently wish to change. By honestly examining your life, you will understand what aspects you dislike and not pretend to love your life, creating a false sense of happiness on social media.
Dawson suggests making a list with three columns. The first column is about aspects of your life you love and don’t want to change. The second column is about things in your life that make you unhappy, such as how your family treats you, your circle of friends, income, or weight. The third column is about what you want to change. You must be clear about what you specifically want to change, focusing on things that need real transformation in the next 90 days. Clearly outline your vision and decide who you want to become after 90 days.
According to Dawson, 90 days are enough to change various aspects of your life. You don’t have to remain the same person forever; remember that changing yourself can be fun and easy.
If you continue to carry the burdens of the past, you cannot change your life. You need to declutter your living space and your habits. By examining yourself and your environment from a new perspective, you will find areas that can be changed. An easy starting point is your living space, like your kitchen, wardrobe, and car.
While decluttering unnecessary items, also get rid of excuses and behaviors you used to avoid cleaning up. For instance, if you spend an average of 3 hours daily on TikTok, now redirect that energy into transforming your environment, and you’ll feel a leap in the quality of your life. This self-transformation starts with your living space.
If you’re unsure how to organize your living space, you can refer to organizing expert Marie Kondo’s suggestions. For example, keep only the items that “spark joy,” meaning things that make you feel happy or excited when you pick them up every time, and dispose of the rest after thanking them for being part of your life. Categorize items rather than organizing by space, gather similar items (like all clothes or books) together and thoroughly organize them. After organizing, designate a fixed storage location for each item you keep.
Dawson states that she has reshaped herself numerous times, and she found that the fastest way to transform and become a new version always starts with changing your external image. One of her most satisfying transformations was deciding to only wear black and minimal white – this decision helped her clearly understand the kind of person she was becoming. She no longer wanted to be the young girl who randomly buys things and dresses sloppily but decided to maintain a refined, tasteful, sleek, and professional image forever. Dawson believes black represents elegance and style, always versatile and never goes wrong.
When you choose to change your external image – whether it’s your hairstyle or clothing style – you are signaling to everyone that you have been transformed and are no longer the same as before. This change can drive substantial behavioral changes because without these signals, others will still perceive you as unchanged, and if there’s no change, why should they alter how they treat you? Why should they have different expectations for you?
Indeed, research confirms that people with an outstanding image earn more than those with plain appearances. An economic study by Eva Sierminska states that attractive employees earn up to 15% more than unattractive ones. Therefore, efforts to improve your personal image indeed have the potential to make you more successful and wealthy.
Consider the next 90 days as a sprint. You will become a different person, exhibiting different behaviors, and to achieve behavioral changes, you must plan ahead. If you want to mold a new version of yourself, you can’t continue to act as you did in the past. The principle may seem simple, but at this point, your schedule will be your best friend – open it, use it to plan your future, and create opportunities for transformation.
The fastest way to reshape yourself is by tracking your activities through a schedule, understanding where you truly spend your time – like sleeping, eating, working, and exercising. Consider your calendar as your new best friend; it might become your best companion for self-reinvention. You will achieve rapid transformation because planning ahead can force changes in behavior patterns rather than letting old habits dominate your life.
Everyone around you should be people you admire and aspire to become. When you try to reshape yourself but still hang out with people who want you to stay the same or even regress, it will hinder your goal achievement. Dawson admits that this was one of the hardest obstacles she faced in her life because she always wanted to support and be supported by her childhood friends throughout her life. However, most of her friends did not support her change and even criticized and ridiculed her. Eventually, she had to face the reality that if she wanted to reshape herself, she had to pause or cut some relationships.
Later, she discovered the well-known American female entrepreneur Elena Cardone online and followed her on Instagram for several months. Dawson kept asking herself: “Who does Elena befriend? How am I different from the type of friends she idealizes?” Hence, Dawson made a detailed list and planned all the necessary steps to win Cardone’s friendship. Today, they have been good friends and business partners for several years.
Dawson believes that the key to success is to immerse yourself in the circle of those whom you want to emulate. If you cannot meet them in person, get as close to them as possible through their content – books, videos, podcasts, social media in the online world. Let this positive energy and outstanding influence replace those who mock your dreams, oppose your transformation, and scoff at the new image you present.
Here is a tip: proactively contact the role models you admire. Express in comments or private messages: “I admire you and look up to you as a role model. I follow you and cherish everything you share.” This is akin to declaring in the real world the person you want to become, bringing more of what you aspire for into your life.
Dawson revealed that her most significant transformation was from high school to college. In high school, due to strict parental discipline, she did not have many pleasant social experiences. Upon entering college, she wanted to be a fun and active person, although unsure how to achieve it. However, she gathered courage to meet new friends in every dorm, pretending to be naturally sociable. Eventually, she successfully transformed into a social butterfly, making many friends.
Fortunately, she didn’t use social media in high school, so no one knew about her past. If you want to reshape yourself, there’s no need to keep social media content you don’t want new friends to see – just delete it. Or you can create a new account and start posting on it. Keep past photos and videos on your phone or computer; those experiences are in the past, let them gather dust. Let the old you fade away and become a brand new self.
The most exciting part of the journey is looking back and realizing how far you’ve come. When documenting your journey, don’t just record the highlights, but also the dim and poignant moments – there’s no need to share them publicly.
In these moments, you may feel ashamed, disappointed, and discouraged. You can fully feel these negative emotions and document them. You can cry in videos or have a conversation with your future self. But firmly know that you are determined to change, have confidence that you will eventually change, as all these moments are part of the journey.
Dawson mentioned she has many such videos, and every time she revisits them, she feels proud of herself. There’s no need to erase those awkward moments because they are part of you, a testimony to your growth journey that might inspire others someday.
No one wants to take advice from perfect people. Perhaps one day, you’ll tell someone else, “I remember being in your shoes.” Maybe then you can share your videos and stories, proving to others that you understand their experiences and struggles. The mistakes you’ve made and the paths you’ve taken will resonate with others.
If you follow these steps, waking up in 90 days, you will be a completely different person – more confident and disciplined, distinctly different from the person you are today.