Hong Kong Survey: Over Half of Respondents Have Engaged in “Violent Communication,” Including Not Speaking to Family Members for Days

“The Harmony Home,” which provides counseling and therapy for domestic violence victims, released a study on the 18th showing that more than half of the respondents have experienced instances of violent communication. This includes insulting family members during arguments and not speaking to each other for several days due to anger. Researchers caution that authoritative parenting styles can affect mutual understanding and acceptance between parents and children, leading to communication barriers.

According to statistics quoted by The Harmony Home from the Social Welfare Department, there were a total of 1,938 reported cases of domestic violence against spouses or cohabiting partners in Hong Kong in 2023. Additionally, there were 1,457 newly registered child protection cases, with the Yuen Long district consistently ranking at the top among the eighteen districts.

The Harmony Home, sponsored by the Bank of China (Hong Kong), has been running the “40-Minute Harmony Sanctuary” program in the Yuen Long district since 2020. They have also established the “Harmony Family Space” service center with the aim of enhancing the personal mental and spiritual health of residents in the area, improving communication skills, and promoting family harmony to prevent violence.

Dr. Wu Wanyan, Associate Professor of the Social Work Department at Shue Yan University, conducted a two-year study on “Nonviolent Communication and Harmonious Family Relationships.” The study successfully collected 304 questionnaires, revealing that more than half of the respondents have encountered instances of violent communication, including insulting family members during arguments and staying silent for days out of anger.

Dr. Wu analyzed that the data shows more women than men experience violent communication within families, and the lower the family income, the more prevalent violent communication becomes. Therefore, she suggests that relevant services should be tailored to women from low-income families.

She further pointed out that the research results also reflected that more than half of parents adopt authoritative parenting styles when dealing with disobedience or inappropriate behavior from their children, including statements like “Because I’m your parent” or direct criticisms. She emphasized that authoritative parenting can affect mutual understanding and acceptance between parents and children, leading to communication barriers.

In addition, research on workshops and groups promoting goodwill communication found that one-off child-rearing workshops have a significant effect on parents’ learning of positive parenting techniques and nonviolent communication methods, especially suitable for beginners to explore nonviolent communication, encouraging self-reflection and raising awareness of treating children kindly.

The children’s groups have shown significant improvements in enhancing children’s observation skills and emotional intelligence, enabling them to be more sensitive to others’ feelings and express their needs politely. Some interviewed children mentioned that they have learned to articulate their inner needs and make polite requests, successfully applying the skills in daily social interactions, which helps improve personal emotional management and enhance interpersonal relationships.

The parents’ groups have demonstrated a remarkable effect in improving parenting styles, with interviewed parents stating that they have learned to observe their children’s behavior without criticism, understand their feelings and needs, and actively express their own feelings, distinguishing between issuing invitations and orders.

As for the couples’ groups, surveyed women reported that learning nonviolent communication has increased their awareness of listening to and considering their partners’ feelings and needs. Besides enhancing marital relationships, they have also started paying attention to and valuing their individual feelings, expressing their needs more clearly to their partners, thereby raising self-care awareness.

Director of The Harmony Home Project, Ho Sichiu, stated that over the past three years, the team has reached around 100,000 people to promote goodwill communication, identifying hidden cases and providing follow-up services to 1,500 individuals affected by family conflicts. They aim to offer timely support to prevent family tragedies and plan to expand goodwill communication services to other areas to reach more individuals in need.