In recent days, a man named Li from Shangqiu, Henan, spent 270,000 yuan on betrothal gifts for his engagement, only for his fiancée Zhang to tragically commit suicide just over ten days later. The news of this incident has sparked heated discussions among netizens.
According to the “News Morning Post,” Li met Zhang through a matchmaker and they got engaged after just 5 days of knowing each other. During the engagement banquet, Li and his family handed over 270,000 yuan in cash to Zhang’s family.
Li stated that after the engagement, he went to Zhejiang to continue working, and they did not notice any abnormal behavior from Zhang during their phone conversations.
Zhang’s family informed Li that she had committed suicide by jumping into a river.
Zhang’s sudden death left Li empty-handed, causing a significant blow to him and his family.
Li’s family demanded a full refund of the betrothal gifts. Currently, Zhang’s family has refunded part of the gifts, but they have not provided any explanation for Zhang’s suicide.
Netizens have been speculating about the incident:
“Could it be that parents pressured their child to death? Is it possible that those who wanted to get married without betrothal money compromised at the time, then regretted it later, leading to this tragic choice.”
“In some places, having a daughter means needing to get her married. If the daughter doesn’t marry off, the son will have trouble getting married. And when the daughter gets married, there’s a large sum of betrothal gifts that can be used to marry off the son’s wife. In short, it’s exploiting the daughter.”
Some netizens also pointed out, “A woman ends her life by jumping into a river, a life lost, yet all the news reporters care about is the betrothal gifts!”
In recent years, the cost of betrothal gifts for marriage in China has been skyrocketing. In late March, the topic of “Rural Jiangxi requires 500,000 yuan for betrothal gifts” trended.
Chinese media reported that in rural Jiangxi, the betrothal gifts have risen from 300,000 yuan to around 500,000 yuan, making it impossible for some rural youth to afford marriage.
In some parts of Henan, the cost of marriage for young people is around 1 million yuan.
Zhang Huan, a lecturer at the South-Central University for Nationalities, expressed on his WeChat public account that when he returned to his hometown in 2024, he was deeply struck by how difficult it has become for rural youth to get married. After interviewing some acquaintances, he found out that in the eastern plains of Henan, the marriage cost for an ordinary farmer’s family is around 1 million yuan.
He said, “It costs about 1 million for a son to get married,” which has almost become a consensus and reality for local farmers, and “divorce is as common as eating.”
Zhang listed two real case studies:
In the first case, a 51-year-old acquaintance with two sons had his younger son married at the end of 2023. The marriage expenses included 280,000 for betrothal gifts, 210,000 for a car, 420,000 for a house in the community, 10,000 for the wedding band, 10,000 for alterations, 40,000 for a banquet including alcohol, and a total of 980,000 yuan. The parents borrowed 200,000 to 300,000 yuan.
In the second case, a 40-year-old acquaintance with one son got married at the end of 2021. They spent a total of 1 million yuan, including 500,000 for buying and renovating a house in the county in 2017, 240,000 for betrothal gifts, 230,000 for a car, banquet expenses, alcohol, and wedding band, totaling 1 million yuan.
Regarding the increasing cost of marriage for rural youth, many netizens believe that the main reason is the severe gender imbalance, with more men than women, leading to the growing problem of “men struggling to get married,” as many rural young men simply cannot afford to marry.
Responsibility Editor: Lin Congwen