In childhood or during school years, it is easy to make friends and get along well with them, sharing similar interests. However, as we grow older, with the pressures of work and life, coupled with societal influences such as social status, establishing genuine friendships becomes less straightforward. In light of this, experts have shared three simple methods to help adults enhance their friendships, which are worth trying out.
Psychologist Mark Travers from the United States, in an article on Psychology Today, pointed out that in school, friendships often naturally develop through proximity and frequent interactions, leading to the emergence of kindred spirits. But in adulthood, maintaining friendships becomes more complex due to various factors.
Travers highlighted that adults are occupied with various responsibilities, family obligations, relationships, and sometimes struggle to integrate into long-term social circles. The opportunities for forming new friendships with others become increasingly scarce, leading to a dwindling confidence in finding kindred spirits.
However, this does not mean that adult friendships come to an end. It simply signifies that the rules of the past may no longer apply. Once you grasp this concept, you can learn how to consciously build social connections. The following three scientifically-backed tips can make this process much easier.
In childhood, making friends was often a natural process, without analyzing if someone matched our personalities or values. However, as adults, stumbling upon friendships by chance becomes challenging.
Studies have shown that individuals who believe friendships require effort rather than luck or fate tend to actively engage in social activities and experience less loneliness. On the contrary, those who believe friendships will naturally happen tend to feel lonelier.
In reality, most adult friendships are cultivated over time through gradual accumulation of shared experiences. For example, you may start by casually greeting a neighbor, and after two years, you might become the closest of friends, provided you are willing to invest enough time in nurturing that bond.
Therefore, the next time you feel disconnected from someone, consider giving yourself some more time. Friendships need time to unfold their potential.
The healthiest adult friendships usually thrive on structure rather than spontaneity. While this may sound mundane, planning for friendships is one of the wisest choices, as adults cannot easily make friends in public places like classrooms, restaurants, or dorms, as young people can.
A study conducted in 2023 revealed that two friendship variables most reliably predicted individuals’ happiness. One is the quality of the friendship, or how positive you feel about the friendship. The other is the social frequency, referring to how often you interact with each other.
Evidently, what matters most is not the quantity of friends, but the strength and frequency of the connections with friends.
Treating friendship as something worth nurturing rather than merely maintaining can deepen the bond between individuals. Consider it as a way to sustain social relationships. You can schedule regular walks on Sunday mornings, monthly dinners, or video calls with friends from afar.
As we transition into adulthood, most individuals have established their own routines and lifestyles. We choose partners, professions, daily habits, and values that define our identities. However, this stability could potentially hinder friendships, as we may encounter people living in entirely different worlds.
To sustain friendships that bridge these differences, we must learn to be accommodating. When both parties make small adjustments to respect each other’s realities, friendships can flourish.
For instance, rather than insisting on meeting at your favorite cafe, suggest meeting for coffee near their workplace. You could also offer to babysit for a friend, allowing them to enjoy a pleasant evening.
Initially, you may find it inconvenient, but eventually, you might realize that investing in nurturing friendships that enrich your life and add meaning to it is worthwhile.
In conclusion, adult friendships endure because they can withstand the complexities of life. With numerous obligations, sacrifices, and defenses to juggle, individuals still choose each other as friends. It is these repeated choices that give weight to these friendships.
It is worth noting that friendships can alleviate stress, reduce anxiety, lower blood pressure, enhance cognitive abilities, and even decrease mortality rates, offering numerous benefits for overall well-being. Recent research has also found that one of the most surprising factors influencing aging is social life. This study indicates that making friends and engaging in social activities can help delay aging.