Some men and women find themselves at a dead-end after the first date or matchmaking, either because both parties or one of them feel the other is not suitable for further interaction, or the impression given by the other party is not favorable. So, are there any signs that can predict if a first date will have a sequel, with both parties willing to continue dating? Experts say this can be seen through body language.
American behavioral analyst, speaker, and writer Wendy L. Patrick wrote on Psychology Today that when you are on a first date with someone you admire, you may pay attention to their attire, appearance, behavior, speech, and even sense of humor. However, research indicates that there are more critical indicators of whether a first date is successful.
Patrick wrote that besides various sensory and conversational cues during the first encounter, there is one factor that is more likely to lead to a second date than any other, and that is eye contact.
Psychologists from the University of Innsbruck in Austria, led by Alexandra Hoffmann, explored how eye contact could predict partner choices after a 5-minute conversation.
In a study published in 2024, the researchers recruited 30 male and 30 female participants, each attending 4 speed-dating sessions. The results showed that participants were more inclined to choose a date with whom they had more eye contact.
Regarding perceived attractiveness, a crucial factor in mate selection, researchers found that receiving (rather than giving) eye contact could also predict partner choices, with the predictive power of eye contact surpassing perceived attractiveness.
If eye contact, as outlined in Hoffmann and her colleagues’ research report, significantly influences the attraction between individuals, how does it work?
They proposed two possible explanations. The first explanation is that eye contact may signal flirting, triggering a positive psychological response. The second explanation is that eye contact can create charm, making participants more attracted to those with whom they have more eye contact.
They stated that receiving more eye contact during a date could make one feel more engaged and establish a closer relationship with the date.
They also found that in romantic interactions, eye contact (whether active or passive) positively impacted partner choices. Eye contact could predict partner choices within just 5 minutes, surpassing perceived attractiveness.
In conclusion, Patrick suggested that to utilize this simple visual connection, one should allocate enough time to prepare, ensure a comfortable and relaxed state upon reaching the date location, and then focus all attention on pleasing the date, including gentle and appropriate eye contact.
Beyond dates, people engage in eye contact with others in daily life, especially during conversations. If eye contact is brief each time, it may appear distracted or impolite, while prolonged eye contact can make others uncomfortable. So, how long should eye contact last?
The British Psychological Society mentioned a comprehensive study by researchers from University College London in 2016 to explore the duration of eye contact considered comfortable by people.
In this study, 498 visitors of the London Science Museum (224 males, 274 females) from 56 countries, aged 11 to 79 with an average age of 30, watched a series of short films with the same actor engaging in eye contact ranging from 100 milliseconds (0.1 seconds) to over 10,300 milliseconds (slightly over 10 seconds).
While watching the films, participants’ pupil dilation was recorded, and they had to judge whether the duration of eye contact made them uncomfortable, whether too long or too short.
Each participant watched 40 short films featuring the same actor, with a total of 8 actors, all Caucasian. Participants also filled out questionnaires and rated various traits of the actors seen in the films, including attractiveness and threat.
Results indicated that, on average, participants were most comfortable with eye contact lasting over 3 seconds. The majority of participants preferred eye contact ranging from 2 to 5 seconds. No one preferred less than 1 second or over 9 seconds.
Researchers noted that the average preferred gaze time for participants was 3.3 seconds, consistent with some preliminary studies from the 1970s involving interactive pairs, aligning more with real-life conversation scenarios.
As for why maintaining eye contact during conversations can be challenging, a study by scientists at Kyoto University in Japan in 2016 revealed that it is not due to awkwardness but cognitive overload.