A long-term study in the UK has shown that authoritative parenting is the best way to raise children, combining clear rules with warmth and care, which may be the key to cultivating academically excellent children. This approach seems to align with the parenting concepts in traditional Chinese culture.
In contrast to the current trend of “gentle parenting,” this style of parenting that finds a balance between strictness and gentleness allows children to excel in academic and emotional development.
The UK government-funded long-term research project “Study of Early Education and Development (SEED)” has been tracking around 6,000 children since 2013 to explore how family environment and early education impact child development.
According to “The Family Instructions of Yan, Parenting Guide,” it advocates for a balance of strictness and love, emphasizing the importance of firmness, guidance, and care.
The SEED study found that families practicing authoritative parenting had children who performed better in academic exams at ages 7 to 11, particularly excelling in reading, writing, and math. This parenting style emphasizes firm and positive parenting principles while maintaining a high level of responsiveness, where parents actively engage in their children’s lives, providing support and guidance, which aligns with ancient Chinese parenting practices.
“Saying ‘no’ doesn’t mean being indifferent,” one of the researchers said. “The core of authoritative parenting is allowing children to grow within a clear framework while feeling the love of their parents.”
The study also pointed out that at least 10 hours of formal group care per week can further enhance children’s academic performance, providing another practical recommendation for parents.
Formal group care refers to caregiving and educational services provided by professional organizations or qualified individuals, typically including nurseries, preschools, or daycare centers. These places usually offer structured programs or activities aimed at promoting children’s learning and social development, differing from the way parents or relatives care for children.
The research emphasizes the importance of parents’ emotional well-being.
Parents may feel anxious, depressed, or experience other issues due to work, finances, leading to a stressful or chaotic family environment, such as irregular routines, frequent arguments, or unstable living conditions like frequent moves.
Moreover, parents may overly intervene in their children’s lives, attempting to control their behavior, choices, or emotions. Especially in mother-son relationships, mothers may establish unhealthy interaction patterns due to frequent conflicts or concerns about their children.
These factors may weaken children’s social and emotional development during elementary school years (typically ages 5 to 11), making it difficult for children to form stable peer relationships or exhibit behaviors like withdrawal, aggression within groups, or struggle to manage their emotions, appearing anxious, lacking confidence, or emotionally unstable.
Experts warn that overly focusing on children’s achievements with a “self-centered parenting” approach may bring negative impacts, burdening children with unnecessary pressure. Tying children’s value solely to their achievements might overlook their inner needs or emotional well-being.
If parents overly prioritize their children’s achievements, such as academic performance, talents, or public behavior, using these aspects as benchmarks for success, children might feel the need to meet high standards to satisfy their parents’ expectations, leading to anxiety or self-doubt.
This research will continue until 2029, providing further analysis on parenting styles. For modern parents, authoritative parenting may be a balanced approach worth trying – not lacking warmth, nor rules, helping children stand out in academics and life.