Psychologists say that self-worth affects how we handle relationships, complete tasks, face challenges, and our overall mental health, establishing the foundation for personal growth and development. So, are there any methods to enhance our self-worth?
Clinical psychologist Jennifer Guttman practicing in New York and Connecticut states in an article on Psychology Today that self-worth is distinct from self-esteem. Self-esteem relies on external markers of success, whereas self-worth stems from within, serving as an intrinsic value system laying the groundwork for personal prosperity.
Psychiatrist Aaron Beck introduced the concept of core belief system in the 1960s, which later became part of his cognitive behavioral therapy research.
Beck believed that a person’s sense of worth begins to form early. As children, we internalize core belief systems about ourselves, which significantly impact our overall life satisfaction, interactions with the world, and mental health.
Guttman shares several strategies for boosting self-worth, such as:
Take time to assess what you enjoy doing and intentionally give yourself space to engage in these activities, both within and outside of work, to recognize your own value. Stay vigilant and aware of your own worth.
Your brain is always listening. If you speak to yourself critically and negatively, your brain will perceive you in the same light.
Pay attention to how you talk to yourself. Would you speak to your friends, neighbors, or children the way you speak to yourself? If not, how can you communicate more gracefully with yourself? Encourage yourself.
Instead of reinforcing critical voices in your mind, question them through support and care. Avoid saying “that’s too stupid” or “why did I do that?” Try saying “I did my best” or “I tried hard.”
When you complete tasks, whether at work or outside of work, celebrate your accomplishments. You don’t have to wait for external validation; you are proving to yourself that you acknowledge your worth. Strengthen yourself by writing affirmations or rewarding yourself with small, meaningful treats.
We live in a world of shades of gray, not in a binary world. Avoid using words like “should” or “must,” implying there is only one way to do things.
We have many choices and cannot confine ourselves to such absolute spaces. If things don’t go according to your plan, learn to forgive yourself. By being kinder to yourself, you prove that you deserve to be treated well.
Balance any negative core beliefs you hold with positive self-talk. Also, pay attention to your thoughts to identify and dismantle them, aiming to counter critical thoughts with more neutral or positive statements. For example, instead of saying “I can’t do it,” say “This is a challenge, but I can overcome it.”
Are you the protagonist of your life? With a sense of self-worth, we realize we should be the main character of our life story. Assessing your life is crucial to ensure you don’t prioritize others’ needs or dreams over your own most of the time.
When you place yourself behind others, you diminish your own worth. Continuing to play the lead role reminds your brain that you believe in your intrinsic value.
Guttman concludes that cultivating beliefs in self-worth may feel overwhelming, especially if you have been ingrained with contrary core belief systems since childhood. However, practicing these strategies daily can begin to break down barriers hindering your realization of your worth. You can do it.
Prior to this, Taiwanese counseling psychologist and writer Zhou Mu-zi mentioned in her book “Emotional Blackmail: Suffocating Interactions in Relationships, Parenting, and the Workplace” that self-worth means: affirming my “value” in this world; I believe that I do not always need to achieve or prove anything to be valuable.
She says that people with low self-worth tend to fall into the trap of emotional blackmail. When you start believing that you are “good enough,” that your existence in this world holds importance and value, and when you prioritize your needs and emotions over others, not frequently succumbing to self-betrayal, then you have enough self-worth and courage to resist emotional blackmail tactics. (To learn more, click here.)