Kara Blankenship grew up in a culture that valued obedience, where children were expected to “see but not speak”, unquestioningly obey authority, and strive to meet others’ expectations. As the eldest daughter in her family, she received praise for her academic achievements and constantly equated her self-worth with how satisfied she made those around her.
On the surface, she appeared to be a nearly perfect music major in university. However, deep down, she was drained from trying to follow every professor’s advice, setting unattainable standards for herself, and even beginning to question if she truly wanted the degree she was pursuing.
The pursuit of perfection was gradually eroding Blankenship’s sense of self-worth and damaging her relationships with others.
She told The Epoch Times, “It put me in this mindset of ‘well, you’re better than them.’ It made it impossible for me to be compassionate to others, but at the same time, I couldn’t be compassionate to myself.”
Since 2000, the rise of perfectionism has become particularly noticeable, with researchers labeling it as the “perfectionism pandemic”.
In the past, perfectionism was mostly seen as self-imposed standards. Nowadays, it can stem from both personal demands and societal norms, with rates of mental health issues consistently correlating with the level of perfectionism displayed.
Rebecca Resnik, a practicing clinical psychologist and host of the “Cultivating Excellence” podcast, stated in an interview with The Epoch Times that perfectionism is not simply a character trait to be dismissed lightly, nor is it solely about excelling in most areas. She emphasized that perfectionism can lead to actual health problems and is a health risk in itself from a public health perspective.
Perfectionism can manifest as ruminative thoughts, low self-esteem, dropping out of college for no apparent reason, engaging in binge-eating, and presenting dangers to physical health.
Resnik remarked, “It really is not as simple as saying some college kids can’t handle the pressure.”
Self-oriented perfectionism involves continuously striving for perfection but feeling inadequate regardless, leading to self-doubt and perceiving others’ expectations as unfair and unattainable.
Perfectionist concerns, which result from societal influences, are growing at a faster rate and are characterized by decision-making difficulties, fear of failure, and concern about negative evaluations from others.
A recent study published in Psychological Bulletin by lead author Thomas Curran found that socially prescribed perfectionism has been steadily increasing over the past 35 years.
In 2020, psychologists Gordon Flett and Paul Hewitt coined the term “perfectionism pandemic” to describe the widespread and escalating phenomenon of perfectionism.
The authors of this latest study also echo this sentiment.
Curran stated in a release, “These findings give more context to recent discussions about adolescent mental health. While phones and social media have received much blame, the rise of perfectionism predates the spread of social media. This research suggests deeper factors at play.”
The research indicates that when individuals hold extremely high standards for themselves, coupled with intense fears of making mistakes and concerns about others’ evaluations, it often correlates with particularly poor mental health outcomes.
Moreover, there is evidence showing that perfectionism is linked to more severe health issues. According to an integrative analysis published in the Journal of Personality, both self-oriented and socially prescribed perfectionism are associated with suicidal ideation, eating disorders, and non-suicidal self-harm.
Curran emphasized that addressing the youth mental health crisis requires examining the cultural and economic conditions that foster these pressures.
According to Curran’s findings from the study analyzing 25 years of data up to 2024, the prevalence of perfectionism in three countries (the United States, the United Kingdom, and Canada) correlates with specific economic conditions.
Economic downturns measured by Gross Domestic Product (GDP) are linked to a pursuit of excellence—striving to work hard and achieve higher standards. This pursuit, a more complex form of perfectionism, may not be unhealthy when it motivates individuals to excel. However, when this pursuit is emotionally driven by sentiments like “I have to perform well to prove I’m okay”, it can become destructive.
One perspective to understand this issue is that the pursuit of excellence involves setting unrealistically high standards for oneself, while perfectionist concerns relate to the emotional and cognitive patterns surrounding the fate one may face if they fail to reach those standards. Per Curran’s study, perfectionist concerns often intertwine with fear of making mistakes, feeling ashamed after setbacks, and basing self-worth on achievements—a combination that can be more destructive and rises in parallel with growing economic inequality.
“When inequality increases, you see a shift where the fear and concern about mistakes and others’ views start to become more core characteristics of one’s psychological state,” Curran explained.
Resnik suggested that anxious parents could inadvertently contribute to the formation of perfectionism in their children through a “drip effect”. Parents who do not want their children to fail or are concerned about economic pressures may strongly recommend specific schools or career paths for their children.
She said, “Uncertainty is a massive factor causing stress and anxiety in people. Parental anxiety can translate into pressure on children, whether intentional or not, to achieve a certain level of success that parents believe will protect them.”
Curran’s research suggests that even when college students are aware that these pressures stem from society rather than themselves, they still yearn to excel, achieve, and appear faultless in the eyes of others.
Resnik mentioned that parents can positively influence their children by cultivating genuine self-worth in them, rather than excessively emphasizing the need for perfect grades, being the section leader in a band, or making it to the starting lineup of a sports team. Often, parents inadvertently link personal value to achievements just because other parents do the same.
She said, “Parents can consciously and explicitly break away from these toxic cultural influences. This change would result in a ripple effect. When we gradually form a large enough group, with enough parents stepping up and saying, ‘Enough, I won’t treat my child this way,’ then societal change will come.”
Blankenship took a long time to gradually overcome perfectionism.
Ultimately, she shifted her focus toward pursuing a career she truly desired. During her studies, she shed the perfectionistic mindset and now works as a counselor and clinical director of a mental health and wellness clinic called “Optimize Wellness”.
The important insight she learned from her own experiences and continues to impart to her clients is that perfectionism is a fixed mindset, not a growth mindset.
She shared that letting go of attachment to outcomes and not overly concerning oneself with others’ opinions while creating and sharing new works or plans can lead to liberation.
She said, “You don’t need to have everything perfect to start. You just need to take the first step. Without experiencing failure, you cannot grow; without making mistakes, you cannot truly learn. That, for me, was a huge shift.”