In modern society, phones and text messages seem to be indispensable tools for communication, especially with the group messaging functionality and the ability to attach photos and files, which make it convenient for people to use. However, as people heavily rely on text messages, etiquette experts warn that not everything is suitable to be conveyed through texts, as this approach might lead to communication issues.
According to a report by CNBC, the etiquette regarding the use of phones, text messages, or face-to-face conversations seems unclear to a large extent, depending on the relationship you have with the other person and the era you both come from.
Nevertheless, one of the authors of “Emily Post’s Etiquette: The Centennial Edition,” Daniel Post Senning, pointed out that there is a golden rule that transcends generations.
Emily Post, an American writer and socialite born in the 19th century, gained fame for her articles on etiquette.
Senning stated, “In any conversation full of emotions, you want to give yourself the best chance and utilize all your emotional tools.”
Tone, volume, and body language can help change the way a message is received, which cannot be conveyed through text.
Senning mentioned that delivering good or bad news over the phone tends to be more effective. For instance, the most common conversation that should not be conducted through text is about divorces or breakups, as topics requiring careful handling are more extensive.
He emphasized, “Sharing news of someone’s passing or news of poor health, such as a misdiagnosis, should not be done through text.”
Senning also discussed the potential misunderstandings that can arise from text messages. Often, it is not the text itself but the punctuation or emoticons that lead to misinterpretations.
For example, the difference in meaning between saying “That’s funny!” and “That’s funny.” is significant. People should not overuse exclamation points.
He mentioned that using a period in a text message can add a hostile tone. If your reply is just one or two words, you don’t need to end it with a period. However, if you want to convey a very serious question, then use a period.
Another tool to be cautious with is humor, as tone (something that cannot be conveyed through text) is crucial for accurate interpretation.
Senning suggested that before sending a joke through a text message, one should consider whether the relationship with the recipient is already strong or if you need to understand them better before deciding to send a joke.
Nevertheless, the use of exclamation points is widespread.
Senning said, “It’s worth noting that people use exclamation points and emoticons more liberally in text messages. It’s a way to express enthusiasm and doesn’t necessarily signify a heightened excitement. It can be used to positively adjust the tone.”